Sariniste

Ichigo sat in the classroom, trying to keep his jaws from cracking as he yawned. One thing hadn't changed in hundreds of years: teachers were still boring. He peeked out the window. The late fall sky topped the buildings of the Shinigami Academy, hazy blue streaked with thin wispy clouds. Across the courtyard, a row of trees whipped back and forth in a stiff breeze. He rested his chin on one palm, trying to keep his eyes open. Maybe if he closed them just for a moment… "Ichigo," said a gravelly voice, and Ichigo's eyes jerked open. His jaw dropped. In front of him stood Chad, Orihime, and Renji, all wearing Shinigami Academy uniforms.

Bleach fanfic, Aizen/Ichigo friendship, humor. XxXxXxX Urahara, leaning against a table in his lab, opened his fan and fluttered it back and forth. "Well you see, Ichigo, Soul Society is in a real pickle with Aizen's last attack since he escaped from prison. It looks like if he combines forces with Juha Bach, we may not be able to survive." He peered at the youth from under his striped hat. Ichigo glared at the shinigami. "So what else is new?" he retorted. "I'm doing everything I can, but even powered-up I'm still not quite up to Aizen's level, unless I work with others." "Exactly!" Urahara shut his fan with a snap and grinned. "You and

UlquiHime version of the romantic narrative poem The Highwayman by Alfred Noyes. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10513303/1/A-Heart-Beats-in-the-Desert A/N: My attempt at a romantic narrative poem for Ulquiorra x Orihime, based on The Highwayman by Alfred Noyes. Dedicated to my friends in the UlquiHime FC on Bleach Asylum. :) Thanks so much to jylener22, Flare-Flare, and TheCloudWeaver-Insanity for beta-ing! This is a little OOC and AU, a mix of Hueco Mundo and the English countryside where Noyes set his romantic poem. I've made Ulquiorra a knight and Orihime a princess imprisoned in a castle (I'm deliberately a little vague about the politic

Dear Bleach Fanfiction Authors, Eheheh. I just saw your site and, wow. *blushes* I, um, don't really know what to say. I mean, I didn't know you all were so interested in romance among all of us. Because, you know, we think we're busy fighting this big war. Well, it was different wars. First we fought against the Soul Society, and then we found out they were our friends, and Captain Aizen, who used to be their friend, was really our enemy. Then we fought against Hueco Mundo and the Espada, but now it seems that they're our allies too, and there's a new enemy. Uh, does that sound confusing? What was I talking about, anyway? Oh! The romance

Dear Bleach Fanfiction Authors, Huh, bloody killings, vicious attacks, gratuitous cruelty, generally acting like a freakin’ asshole? Actually, I think most of you got me spot on.  ;) (Although you kinda overdid it with all the cat stuff. I’m not an Adjuchas anymore, dammit!) But you gotta write more stories with me smashing that damn shinigami into oblivion instead of fucking him! Though… you sure make him look kinda pathetic when I’ve got him slammed against a wall. *psychotic grin* You gave me some ideas—now I just might play with him a little before I beat him to death. And did you notice that I’m

Dear Bleach Fanfiction Authors, Why do you all insist that Orihime is a ditzy idiot whose cooking gives people indigestion? Well, she may be a little ADHD. And her cooking is, umm, creative. But nowhere has it ever been recorded that her food makes people sick! She just uses combinations of ingredients that are atypical in Japan (like butter on sweet potatoes, which I know you Americans actually like, yuck!) Give me a break, guys! Or do I have to come to your computer and punch you? Sincerely, Tatsuki Arisawa

Chap. 2: Inception and its Aftermath Bleach UlquiHime fanfic hosted at http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7061648/1/Days-of-Las-Noches A/N: Ulquiorra and Orihime go to the movies! And Gin gets up to more trouble on EspadaBook. But this chapter takes a bit more of a serious turn and delves into some of the background of Ulquiorra's and Orihime's relationship. Hope no one minds… it just wrote itself that way. Gin sighed, putting his feet up on the table housing the security equipment, and looking up at the monitors one more time. Peace was really boring. It was hard to find people to stab with Shinsou anymore. There were all these rules, and

Humorous drabble series. Chapter 6 – Ulquiorra Cifer. Dear Bleach Fanfiction Authors, Re: “Pairings” involving me: Grimmjow, Aizen-sama, Orihime Inoue. This is a pointless letter. I do not consort with trash. I especially do not disobey Aizen-sama in order to consort with trash. The only reason to couple with another being would be to reproduce. Hollows do not reproduce sexually. Grimmjow was my subordinate. If he had attempted a sexual assault upon me I would have destroyed him with a single Cero. Pathetic. End of story. There is no need to write a hundred thousand words on such an inane topic. If Aizen-sama had wis

Humorous drabble series. Chapter 5 – Uryuu Ishida Dear Bleach Fanfiction Authors, Learn to spell and use good grammar. Why is my interest in couture depicted as such a fixation in every single story? I enjoy fashion and tailoring, but it is only a hobby. It is not my predominant interest. Additionally, I must protest Mayuri Kurotsuchi's inclusion in this story. Aren't you aware of his past actions, or do you condone genocide? I must insist that chapter 3 be deleted at once. Further, the first four chapters of this story are all about Shinigami. The Quincy demand equal time. We wish to have one chapter on each of us for every Shini